MAGNETIC REVERIE Page 18

  Even though this seemed to be more acceptable, it already gave the answer that I would have to be the one caring the baby. It is not that I didn’t want a child of my own, my flesh and blood, but right now I felt I wanted more to see a child of hers, that looked like her, that was gentle and decidedly like her. She was much of a person than I thought I was. But yes, as the donor would be her brother, it was logical that I would have to be the biological mother. And anyhow, the child would still have her genes.

  Suddenly it struck me. I can get finally to have the child I wished for so long. I remembered how much I wanted to have a child but Greg wasn’t yet ready for it. Maybe this was the main reason why I am having these dreams. In real life I couldn’t have yet a baby, but in dreams, after just a short time, I have been offered with the possibility for my wish to become reality. Or better say, my dream would get accomplished in the dream.

  But, who am I fooling? The more intense the dreams will get, the more fulfilled my life will become in here, the harder would be to return to reality, the more I would suffer when I will stop having these dreams. What if I stop dreaming the moment I have the child. God, that would be really hard to take.

  She must have felt that something was going in my head, that I wasn’t completely okay with this, but I couldn’t share my thoughts with her despite the fact that I would really need someone to talk with about. No matter how much I was telling myself that maybe tomorrow will be the day when I will stop having these dreams, so I shouldn’t get myself too involved, I knew I was too much in it already. At the beginning it was just the kiss and her beautiful eyes, but now it’s much more. It’s the love that I felt for her and now also the planning of our child, a child of mine.

  “Wouldn’t it be strange that David is the biological father, but plays the role of uncle? By society’s standards, you would be the child’s aunt while in reality you are the second mother! Do you think things will change fast so that our child will be able to understand that he has two mothers? Will we be capable to explain that to him?” I asked. She insisted on finding out what I thought. I had to say something logical enough. I believe she thought the same thing. At least, that’s what I thought she should.

  “I don’t know, babe. I hope things turn out as we want them to. I have the same thoughts. I am sure things will change, as more and more people come out and express their alternate sexualities and they have children. Society will be more open and less judgmental. Our baby will not lack anything. We will make sure that our baby will not be confused. I am happy that you are even open to talking about it this time. I was so afraid to tell you the reason we broke up. Or I think this was it. I insisted too much on having a baby. You got scared and decided that it was better to break up if I was unwilling to back down on the baby thing. No matter how much I loved you, the desire for a baby was strong. It has been in me for as long as I can remember, the same way you told me yesterday. If I decide not to go for it, my life will not be complete. When you left me, I felt that my life had no meaning anymore. I felt like dying. I realized that I could live without a child but I can’t live without you. Now, on this wonderful day, when I realized that I can have you and our child, I am the happiest!”

  We talked for hours in bed about this. She explained that her brother, David, had recently discovered that he was gay. He had had girlfriends in the past but realized that they didn’t attract him the way men did. Still, he hadn’t had a gay partner so far. I felt sorry for all the heterosexual women who probably wished to have him. But hey, this was life! Claire told me that her wish was for the baby to be healthy and regarding gender if she could choose, she would rather have a little girl looking just like me. This was so sweet of her and funny because my wish would be the same if she would be the biological mother.

  We made plans about how to deal with the insemination process. We decided to try at a Slovenian clinic first or we could go to a clinic in Germany if things would move faster. Of course this would cost us more, but somehow we didn’t consider finance being an impediment. As we were both on out of work period and David was planning soon to take a holiday, we could go into the action very fast. Believing or not I was very thrilled about the idea. We even talked about possible names, multiple choices for each sex. After we exhausted almost everything that could be said for this phase of the child planning we decided that we should tell David as soon as possible, hopefully he didn’t change his mind.

  We called David. Claire didn’t tell him why we wanted to meet him, because it was sensitive. We decided it would be best to invite him over for dinner. As he already had plans for today, he promised to come the next day. It was a big moment and we decided to go right away shopping for groceries. There was no hurry, though. Being with Claire in bed was something I wanted more. It seemed like she felt the same as she kept me there. She didn’t have to say it, but her eyes and naked body spoke to me in a language I could understand well now. It was the language of love and lust. We couldn’t get enough of each other. The more we had it, the more we wanted. She looked at me, full of desire. With a very firm move, she turned me around while I sat on the edge of the bed. I knew I had to do whatever she wanted me to do. I had no problem letting her dominate me in bed as this made the desire even stronger. It drove me crazy. She started moving her fingers slowly from the bottom of my back, upwards, pulling the light pajama top elegantly till it reached my shoulders. With the other hand, she grabbed my hands and lifted them up. My pajama glided off freely, falling on the floor. I felt her kisses all over my shoulders and my back. Her hands cupped my breasts, playing with my nipples softly, and they responded immediately to her touch. I got lost when I felt her warm tongue on my skin. She muttered how much she wanted me and what she was going to do to me. “Yes! I want that!” That was all I could say. My body was moving to her rhythm, and I lost myself in the sensations. I turned my head as I craved for her kisses. The moment our lips touched, I felt the extent of my craving for this. It was insatiable. It felt like we gave ourselves entirely into that passionate kiss. We almost couldn’t breathe. But, we didn’t care about it. She continued touching my breasts and her strokes got faster. Our breath got stronger. She moved her left hand lower, into my panties. Her fingers touched me down there, while the other one stayed on my right nipple. I was wet, and she was getting me excited. When her moves got faster, her magic fingers touched me again and again, I lost control completely and reached the peak. She held me tight and kept me strong in her arms, next to her naked body, caressing my hair. “I love seeing you enjoy so much. You are mine, babe. You will always be mine. We will always be together!”

  Filled with enjoyment from my arousal, the kisses and touches, and the moment of intense pleasure that made me culminate, I felt that this was all that I ever wanted in the world. I wanted her. I wanted to do everything with her. She moved higher in bed, pulling me along. Her eyes glowed bright. She continued kissing me, and touched me everywhere. It drove me faster to another wave of strong, sexual desire. What she did with me was magic. No one had ever had this effect on me. She made me feel insatiable, but it seemed that she was determined to bring me pleasure. She felt everything I felt. We were one. Her eyes glowed brighter, right before her fingers dug into my insides and made me lose control. She held me tight. I let myself go into it, until I felt the complete, final pleasure that filled my body. I closed my eyes. I don’t know for how long I was like that. When I opened my eyes again, I saw her looking at me brightly. I was thinking how much I loved her. She started caressing my arms and thighs, covering me with kisses. I lay there, I don’t know for how long. When I came out of the ecstasy and grabbed her next to me in the strongest hug ever, I touched her slowly and whispered how much I loved her into her ear. As she had taken care of my pleasure twice already, she deserved being taken care of, now. The more I did it, the more experienced I was. This time, I didn’t have to repeat her moves. I just did what I felt like. As I knew she liked to dominate in bed, I lay on my back and pulled her over me.
I moved her a bit up so I could kiss her breasts and nipples while my hand would reach the sweet spot between her legs. She was wet, and didn’t stop short of showing me how much she enjoyed my touches. I couldn’t see her eyes in that position, but I could hear her. She was overwhelmed with pleasure. It felt good to bring someone such enjoyment. After she reached her orgasm, I didn’t want to wait for too long. I pushed her up gently, so she sat on her knees. I lifted my back up so I could reach her torso with my lips till I reached her breasts. With one hand, I held her from her back. With the other, I pushed my fingers inside her loins. She screamed when I penetrated her, with intense pleasure. She was mine. I could see her eyes in this position. I saw the pleasure on her face. She was beautiful when she reached the orgasm. This one was even more intense. I pulled her towards me and lay on my back. She put her head on my chest and I caressed her body. Her skin was so soft, and it was addictive. I couldn’t stop touching her. I ran my fingers through her hair, caressing her face and neck, while our lips were united again in the most perfect kiss. Our craving for each other was amazing. There was nothing more perfect and beautiful than the feeling of our naked bodies bonding. We went at it again and again, like it was the first and the last time, each time. I enjoyed tremendously the moment I satisfied her.

  We must have been fallen into a sweet long sleep after we made love for a few hours. We woke up early next morning full of energy. What a magical effect lovemaking can have on people! It was incredible. It was the best medicine one could use. It can cure everything and everyone. Of course all I could see and feel now were all the wonderful and positive sides of being in love. I had no reason to think over the negative ones.

  David was to arrive today. We had big smiles on our faces, remembering why the day was important. We decided it was best to go to the store already in the morning and make sure we didn’t repeat the situation. We left the bedroom at the same time and while in the bathroom it came to us naturally to take a shower together. It would be a first for it. She offered to wash my back and of course I accepted it. It was so erotic the way she washed my back that it turned me on in a second, so I turned around, surprised her a bit with my reaction and started kissing her, like I didn’t do it for already too long time and she responded to my kiss the same way. Our bodies were even softer due to the foam from the shower gel and shampoo and the feeling was even smoother. Our breasts were touching while our hands were occupied with other parts of our body. As we couldn’t wait too long, we did it simultaneously and came almost in the same time. It was amazing. It didn’t last long but it was really intense. Each time was the best. I couldn’t pick any of the positions or orgasm as being my favorite. But I knew Claire was my favorite and I wouldn’t want to lose her. Not just because of our great chemistry and sexual life, but because of everything that she was. She was the best for me.

  After all the sex we had in the past two days, the shopping that we did afterwards was the funniest that I ever experienced. I am not sure if people around could feel what was going on between us but we didn’t care. It’s like part of us was still relieving all that we did in the bed and in the shower until fifteen minutes ago. Luckily it was two of us so we managed to put in the basket everything we planned to buy. When pushing the card, her hand touched mine and we looked at each other and smiled. There was so much vibration between us. We were happy and enjoying every little thing regarding us.

  The fun followed also when we did the cooking. As I knew already, Claire wasn’t the best cook and she was often more a perturbation than a help, but I wouldn’t do it any other way. I just loved her hugs from behind while I was stirring the food on the stove. I was just not guaranteeing 100% for the taste of the food. When I realized that I had no idea how much salt I put in or what should I do next, I turned off the stove and put all the cooking on pause and that was enough sign for her to take me to bed, the place where she wanted me anyway all the time since I started preparing food. But I didn’t tell her that actually I wanted her again the moment we initially left to the store. Crazy love, this is what I felt. Actually today was more like crazy lust. But who could blame us if we were so attracted to each other and no matter how many times we did it we still wanted it. Of course I didn’t expect all days will be like this, but as I decided to live the moment, this was exactly what I did. Life would be different if we would decide more often to just forget everything else and enjoy the moment. Problems, worries or any other obligations will still be there when the moment that was worth it had lived its momentum. And also after these kind of moments, we have more energy and will to accomplish even unpleasant things that should be done.

  After another hour or so of fire in the bedroom, where of course it wasn’t always the bed where we were in, we felt the obligation to be a bit more serious and take the time and cook a proper dinner for David. After all he was her brother and the reason for this dinner was a very serious one. Luckily he couldn’t come before 7:00 PM, otherwise we wouldn’t have much to serve him and I doubt we would dare explaining him exactly what just happen the whole day as an excuse.

  We almost finished setting the table when the doorbell rang. I was nervous to talk to David and just entirely nervous about the idea itself. We didn’t agree with Claire if we should tell him about my memory loss, but most probably it will come out if necessary. Except for the time he saved me from getting hit by a car, it will be actually now the first time I will meet him. Yes, he was gorgeous, this I knew already from the article in the magazine. He was the male version of my Claire, blond hair, light blue eyes, athletic body, nice smile.

  To my surprise, but as I saw few seconds later to Claire’s as well, David didn’t come alone. David entered the apartment, kissed his sister and me on the cheek and then he introduced us to the guy standing behind him. His name was Alex, short from Aleksander, and he was presented as David’s friend.

  Claire and I were more than polite and welcomed Alex. We invited both of them to take a seat on the couch in the living room.

  “Nice to meet you Alex. I am sorry David didn’t mention that he will bring a friend so we settled the table for three, but there should be no problem to arrange it for four.”

  “I am so sorry for the inconvenience. Maybe he didn’t tell you as up to the last moment I didn’t know if I can make it. But I am glad I managed to arrive on time and I can even resist without food, as long I have the chance to look at such beautiful girls.”

  “Thank you Alex, but most probably you are being polite towards me, while Lana is the beautiful one.” I felt I am getting really angry. Not just that she couldn’t see how beautiful she was, she wasn’t accepting it when I was telling her and now she is even mentioning to Alex. Is this some sign of low self esteem? Or she is really so overwhelmed with my looks? Either way I really wished for her to be more confident in her looks and feel proud about it. If she could only see herself the way I see her.

  “Yes, David told me that you are the most honest person I could ever meet and humble in the same time. But believe me, you are as beautiful as you friend. And girls please forgive me if I am too direct with the compliments, but when I see beauty I can’t help it.” The moment he finished his sentence he moved his head towards David and smiled a bit. David smiled back.

  Where they together? Of course I wouldn’t ask, but I was really curious. Claire told me that he didn’t have so far any relationship with a guy, but he was fantasizing about it for sure.

  “Thank you, Alex. I will try to believe you and please let’s stop talking about looks, let’s talk about food, as I don’t know about you, but we are starving.”

  And in that moment I realized we didn’t eat anything since breakfast and it was already evening. I was actually also very hungry myself, but honestly, if I would have to choose between kissing Claire or eating, I wouldn’t mind if food would wait for another few hours. Since when am I so horny?

  Alex was not a classic beauty but he had his special charm and definitely his self esteem was at a high
level. Dark eyes, dark brown hair, taller and stronger than David, he was quite an appearance. His body had very nice contoured muscles, for sure he was exercising regularly. But no, I wasn’t interested in any other guy or girl as I had my beautiful Claire and she was everything that I wanted.

  As I didn’t know what kind of friend Alex was, I didn’t want to do or say anything that will discover the type of my relationship with Claire and also David’s recently discovered sexual orientation. This is it, in this kind of relationship that are not public, one should be careful how much information wants to reveal.

  I saw Claire trying to catch David’s eyes to get some explanation from him most probably about his connection with Alex, but he didn’t seem that wants to collaborate. He was actually looking at Alex most of the time and smiling constantly. He seemed very happy, I didn’t know if he was always like this or it was just his mood tonight.

  In this time I arranged the table for Alex as well and invited everybody to sit. I poured the wine and served the food and we all started enjoying our dinner having small talks.

  As we didn’t tell David the reason for the invitation, now it was most probably not the time to discuss about the donor issue. On one side I felt relieved. Not that I didn’t want it anymore, but it was happening really fast and I was a bit afraid although I never mentioned Claire, so maybe few more days of postponing will do good and make me more sure about the decision.

  “So you two girls live here together?” Alex asked.

  “Yes,” we answered in the same time and we smiled looking at each other. God, she was so sexy.

  “What about you two, how do you know each other? I don’t recall David ever mentioning you.” Claire continued with the chit-chat over dinner table.

  They looked at each other and after a pause a bit longer than I considered necessary, David answered.