MAGNETIC REVERIE Page 4

  She stared at me for a long and silent moment, allowing a tiny smile to appear only in the depths of her eyes. It could have been an empathetic and warm smile, but a sarcastic one as well. Hard to tell.

  “We are in Ljubljana now. Please stop the explanations on where Slovenia is. This is really funny. But, finally something! And this probably explains the reason why you speak Slovene!” Yes, her words and intonation confirmed she was sarcastic. But soon, she seemed to change as her voice became warmer and softer.

  “Maybe you hurt your head and imagined that you moved to Washington and made the life you wanted, there. We should go to a doctor today!”

  “No, I really don’t think there is a need to go to a doctor!” Or did I have to go? Oh my God! She was really talking to me in Slovene! So was I! And yes, yesterday when I looked outside the window, I recognized the view as being exactly the heart of Ljubljana, by the river of Ljubljanica, a place which I always found romantic! But it seemed like I hadn’t registered this at the time.

  “We have to, just that today is the second round of the interviews and you know this is really important to me, or at least you would know if you could remember. When I finish, I’ll come home and we will think of a solution for this situation. We have to, we have to!”

  I nodded. No matter how sure I was that reality was different, I was convinced I had go to a doctor. Actually, I was confused. Based on her reactions, when I told her about the reality, I decided to play along, for as long as the dream was to last. I would have to wake up eventually.

  In a very short time, Claire got dressed and left, leaving me alone in the apartment. I was alone and lonely, left on my own. At least this time, the apartment was a bit more familiar to me as opposed to how it was the day before. Dreams or reality, I was a coffee lover, so I decided my next step was to make myself some. Maybe I could even dress up, go out and walk around. It was all strange, of course, but I felt that I had to be active. I had to do something except just sit there, drink coffee, read magazines and toss my brain around wondering about all this.

  I looked in the anteroom for some bag and noticed few of them. One of them seemed to have something inside. I opened it and found a wallet. I looked inside to see if beside money I could find any documents. There were an ID card and some other cards bearing the name Lana Novak with my picture on them. Yes, this was my maiden name. So, it was me! Beside the wallet, there was a tube of lip gloss, some tissues, a mirror and what seemed to be a work ID card. I looked at my position: Professor of Mathematics, Secondary Preschool Education and Gimnazija Ljubljana – Kardeljeva ploščad 16, Ljubljana. Wow! Yes! I had studied to be a math professor. But in the end, I felt that I didn’t have the authority that a teacher would need and that it wasn’t easy to practice my profession in US.

  Didn’t I have to go to work? No, I had to wait for Claire. We were going to make a plan together. Until then it was better that I didn’t meet anyone else as I couldn’t explain what was going on.

  A few minutes later, I went out. I found a small bakery at the corner and the smell inside was welcoming and delicious. I sat at a table with my pastry and orange juice in front of me, enjoying my breakfast. On my left was the window that allowed me to watch people passing by, while my thoughts were more preoccupied with something else.

  Who was I?

  Soon, I would find out. Claire said she would help me. She said she loved me. I was sure she would help me figure out what was going on with me. I hoped I didn’t have any kind of brain damage. No, it can’t be possible. It could be a tumor that it’s causing memory loss? This possibility made me sad: I wanted to live. I immediately ignored the thought, and decided to focus on things around me.

  After I finished my breakfast, I decided to walk in the vicinity, but didn’t want to go too far. I wasn’t afraid to get lost as I knew the city, but Claire was the only person I knew and she knew my situation. This would be something very difficult to explain even to my parents. I didn’t want to be outside for too long. I decided to stick to the old city center. I really missed this city, so I looked around, feeling a mix of happiness and nostalgia at the same time. I passed by Tromostovje Bridge and headed towards the market where I enjoyed the view of all the fresh vegetables and fruits in bright colors, and promising deliciousness, but it didn’t attract me as it used to when I lived here, as my thoughts were preoccupied with something more important. This was something I missed in the US though, going to the market and buying organic fruits and vegetables directly from local producers, without any GMO and pesticides. But it wasn’t the time to deal with it and satisfy this pleasure of mine. Maybe some other time, if I got to it in my dreams, and for sure, when I would visit my parents.

  I continued walking straight and noticed Zmajevski Bridge to my left. Suddenly, I heard the sound of a car braking and then, I hit the asphalt. I heard a lot of noise around. When I opened my eyes, somebody was repeatedly asking me if I was okay. I looked at him. He seemed familiar, but I didn’t know what to say. I was probably shocked by what had happened.

  “Lana, are you okay? Do you feel any pain?” he asked me.

  “No, I think I am okay!” I answered.

  “Okay, good, let’s hope so. I will help you stand up now!” As I stood up I felt quite dizzy. But I suppose I was fine. Then, I realized he knew my name. Who was he?

  “You should be more careful when you cross the street!” he told me. “It’s a nice coincidence that we met here but good that I saw you in time to react, otherwise you would be hurt really badly!” he said, sounding a bit stressed. He spoke with a certain warmth in his voice.

  I couldn’t speak another word, I was just looking at him. Probably my eyes were not even blinking. How complicated had my dream become! He was the guy from the magazine! Yes, him, in flesh and blood. I couldn’t miss such a nice face, and his eyes, both in my dream and in my reality, seemed totally relaxed. His voice was strong, but had a velvety touch to it. And he knew me, he knew my name.

  “Okay, I wouldn’t expect to be called the hero of the day, but till you talk to me, I cannot leave you here. I am still not sure that you are fine!”

  “I am fine!” I must have been shocked… it seemed like I had trouble expressing myself.

  “Lana, you are really lucky! You just started to cross the street at the red light, without even looking if a car was approaching. This is your lucky day. You know, my life philosophy is: ‘Everything happens for a reason.’ Now it’s on us to discover what the reason is. Sometimes, you can see it right away, sometimes it takes years. But the real reason always shows up!” While he spoke, I couldn’t stop noticing how his lips were smiling a bit, forming a nice little dimple on his right cheek, just like Claire’s face. I could hear him, but couldn’t react in words as I was fascinated by the power of his eyes, the elegant masculinity of his whole appearance.

  “Well, I don’t have patience sometimes. I hope to discover the good part in me almost being hit by a car, soon. Or should I think of the good thing as being rescued by you?” I said. People were passing by, but here we were, two people in the middle of the sidewalk, philosophizing about the good meaning of what just happened.

  “Good thinking. It’s all relative. But when the answer comes, you will know to which question. You might as well find an answer that solves the mystery of both questions! At least I know that your brain is working, so hopefully you don’t suffer of any congestion. I should go now as I am already late to a meeting. Are you sure you can manage by yourself? Lana please be careful. In your place I would go to see a doctor, just to be on safe side. And say Claire I said hello.”

  A doctor? This was the second time today that someone was recommending me to see a doctor. I was definitely going to see a doctor. As time passed, I didn’t know which was better, a neurologist or psychiatrist. But for sure, I was going to go to the clinic. He knew Claire? Okay. I was amused by the coincidence, but things were getting really complicated. At that moment, I realized that his eyes were very similar
to Claire’s, just that his were sharper. His hair was blond, and in a way, the two of them looked very similar. Could it get stranger?

  “I will. And … Thank you for stopping me from crossing the street. I really don’t know where my head is this morning. And yes, one day I will most probably find out what was the good reason for this.”

  But he had already started to walk away. He just waved goodbye and smiled nicely.

  I waved back and decided that it was safer for me to return to the apartment. I was a gentle person so two shocks in a day were maybe the most that I could bear. I had to take time and heal from the shocks I had, one in the morning with Claire, her sad eyes, tears and disclosure of our relationship, emotions and the touch of our lips and the second one now. But after the second, I felt that my energy was returning. The spirit of adventure had begun to make the blood in my body circulate faster. I started to like it.

  It was a dream, so why not just enjoy it? Except for extreme cases, it was pretty safe in a dream, no matter what the story was about. Mine was so far about two good looking people: Claire, the one that was in love with me and the guy that had just saved my life. Both of them were extremely beautiful and they knew each other. It felt like it did in the movies.

  With my head full of thoughts I didn’t realize when I had already reached the apartment. It was in an old building in Galussovo nabrežje, right in the middle in the old part of Ljubljana. It was a good thing that the whole way was a pedestrian zone, so I wasn’t in danger of having another accident. No matter how adventurous I felt, I was tired and I decided to lie down and rest until Claire returned home.

  Chapter 4

  LOVE

  From all people from this planet it is you that I love the most.

  I don’t know for how long I had been asleep but I started to feel gentle kisses all over my face. I couldn’t open my eyes. Had Claire come home? What was happening? Why was she kissing me? It didn’t take long for me to realize that it was a man who was kissing me. I got the smell of aftershave. It was Greg! Of course, it was him! “Wake up sleepyhead! You have to go to work. I hope you are feeling better this morning!”

  “Morning, dear! Yes, I think I am much better. But I want to sleep longer. Why do I have to go to work when it’s so nice and cozy in bed?” I said, and looked at him like a spoiled child.

  “You are so sweet when you sleep. Did you dream of something nice?” he asked me.

  “I don’t remember if I dream something!” That was my answer as I immediately decided that it was definitely not a dream that I had to tell him about. It was a dream that I had lived so intensively that it was so vivid in my memory, with all the details. That wasn’t something to be shared with my husband.

  “I do remember my dream though. You want to hear it?” he asked.

  “Of course, honey!” It was normal that I was interested in everything he had to say.

  “I had again that dream that I was back in university and I had to take a math exam. Ha ha! How many times do I have to dream about it? But the good part is that when I wake up I remember that I passed it and it feels so good!” With happy steps, he left the bedroom, most probably going to make us breakfast. I wanted him to stay longer next to me. I wished I could just tell him about the dream I had for the last two nights. It was so confusing me but I knew I couldn’t. By the end of the day, I would most probably forget about it, but not yet.

  I took some more time in bed, remembering my dream and then I had to convince myself to wake up and live my real life. A dream is just a dream, no matter how surprising and appealing it may seem. I should write a diary and maybe a book one day if I continue having this kind of a dream. I was happy. I loved life. I loved mornings, and I loved starting a day with a smile on my face and some great coffee.

  We followed our usual morning rituals and went to work.

  While meeting my colleagues, I smiled nicely at them, happier than I usually was. I could bet that none of them would guess the reason behind my generous smile.

  It was the kiss. The kind of unexpected kiss that I realized when I woke up that caused me a real pleasure, more than it seemed in the dream. Lately I felt the need of some kind of adventure to take place. Was this wish creating these dreams? This dream started while I was searching for the missing pieces of the puzzle that would bring the desired excitement. Inside me I had so many emotions that were just waiting for the proper trigger to let them come out. Was Claire the trigger? Still, I couldn’t explain why I had this dream two nights in a row as a continuation and why it was so full of details, easily remembered the next day. This never happened with the other dreams I had in the past. This one was different. This one seemed too real.

  Somehow, all the meetings, deadlines and requests from everybody including my boss didn’t affect my mood. I was constantly thinking of my dream. Most of the time, I thought of Claire. When I remembered her bittersweet eyes and shaking body, I felt sad, but then her playful voice, the sweet smile and the touch of her lips lifted my mood. That kiss! I had never kissed a girl before. This wasn’t even a proper kiss. It was a platonic kiss, more of a test from her side to see how I would react. Somehow, I wanted to go back to that moment and taste it, and hold on longer, to get even better the feeling of my lips being touched by other girl’s lips.

  “Someone is in a really good mood today. So what happened last night? Did you two have a nice time together? What did he buy you? Tell me! Let me see your hand, I am sure you got a nice ring!” my colleague asked cheerfully.

  “Oh, yes Maria, a very nice present! I got a voucher from a traveling agency, and guess what? He doesn’t even expect me to take him. He literally said that I could choose who I want to go with! He is such a good husband. He just knows that I like to travel more than I like new jewelry. He is constantly supporting me in whatever makes me happy.”

  “It is true that I have never met him. But, from everything I hear from you, he really seems to be a good husband. I hope that one day, I will also find someone like him. Hey, does he have a brother?” She waited for an answer, as she looked at me with hope in her eyes.

  “No, he doesn’t, I am sorry, Maria. But don’t worry, I am sure the right guy is somewhere there waiting for you!” I was still amused by her idea.

  After a bit of chit-chat more my boss passed by and gave me a look that made it clear that I had to get back to working. Of course, it didn’t bother me as I was responsible and work wasn’t a place for chit-chat. I had so many things to do. I was efficient and there were no meetings planned for the day, so I managed to finish everything on time. I left at 5:00 PM. The stress of the work made me forget the dream. But while traveling back home, this time by public transport, since Greg had a late meeting, it returned to me. It seemed a bit unrealistic and strange to have the same dream with Claire for two days in a row, and that I was living in my hometown. Of course, maybe I would never dream about it again and it would all be forgotten.

  Before entering the building I stopped at the grocery store to buy fresh groceries. I wanted to surprise my husband by cooking. It didn’t happen very often and he was always so appreciative when it did. It was the first day of the fourth year of our marriage. This was reality. This was what counted, not a stupid dream.

  Greg’s meeting lasted longer than predicted, I had enough time to cook a delicious dinner and set the table. The moment he entered through the door, I added finishing touches to the table. Perfect timing!

  “Hey honey! I am home!” Greg said. I was happy to see him. I was waiting eagerly for him, for these few hours together that we managed to have for ourselves at the end of each day.

  After dinner, and of course, his many words of appreciation, we went to the living room. He grabbed the book he was reading about World War II, which was definitely not the kind of reading that I would do. I went to the bedroom to get my book. On the bedside table, I saw the magazine that I had looked at the other night. It was opened to the page with the picture of that handsome man. I took it and
went to the living room, already curious to read what was written about him. It was an interview about successful young managers in American companies situated in European countries. His name was David Kovač.

  “Of course!” I yelled. I hadn’t even realized that I had said it out loud. Greg asked me what I had just figured out. I paused for a moment, as it still didn’t seem proper to mention the dream. I mumbled something incoherently, saying that they would write about successful young managers especially if they are good looking. It was a magazine for women, so most probably the editor’s intention was to offer readers something nice to look at, besides the content of the article. I wondered if I would get the same interest reading the article if he wasn’t that attractive.

  “Beauty sells, that is true!” he said. I was sure that my explanation was logical enough. I began to read the interview. I didn’t remember reading the article before and I couldn’t find an explanation for the guy in my dream having a Slovenian name. So a young Slovenian businessman had rescued me from being hit by a car. I smiled, remembering the dream, and then continued to read. He was a manager in a company that distributed vitamins and supplementary nutrients. The company’s name was familiar, but this didn’t actually matter. There was not much personal information about him, except that he was playing a lot of sports and keeping a healthy lifestyle. Okay, he was young and gorgeous, but he was just another manager doing well at his job.

  After going through a few more pages in the magazine, I decided to prepare for bed. When I returned from the bathroom to check on Greg, I noticed that he had stopped reading and had started the CD player. Instantly, the room was filled with beautiful music. The lights were dimmed, a few candles were lit, creating a romantic atmosphere. It felt magical. He gently took my hand and we started to move around to the rhythm of the music. Soon, we were kissing, smiling and enjoying the moment. Music was such great therapy! Dancing with the person you love and the warmth of his body against yours always felt wonderful. I felt safe in his arms, and he always expressed his love for me.